God's Rainbow vs human's rainbow

http://www.danoah.com/2012/11/anything-other-than-straight.

I'm struggling with a SIN.
I'm struggling with a WEAKNESS.
I'm wrestling with my FLESH for two years.

Everything is getting worse. I fell down and I take a long time to rise. Quite desperate hu'uh. Each time I fall, it's getting worse, so badly. More than before..
Rise
.
Fall
.
.
Rise again
.
.
.
Then Fall
.
Rise again
.
.
.
Fall again
.
.
Then rise again

I'm a shabby rainbow. My mind is filled with human's rainbow not God's Rainbow again. Not Noah's Rainbow again from ages...God's Rainbowbut Stained-Rainbow.
I constantly struggled. I'm not..really straight. I did it substantially. I did it on my mind, on my imagination.